Domestic Violence: The Ultimate Paradox October 13, 2016 – Posted in: News

Your home should be a place of safety. Yet, in a month devoted to highlighting the pain and feelings of shame caused by domestic violence, for some it is the place of greatest danger. Each time the door closes, when the light goes out, when no one else is around to see – the person we once loved, still love, acts out physical, emotional and psychological violence in the place where we should fear no-one – never mind our most intimate partner. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, nearly 20 people per minute are abused by an intimate partner in the US. This is 10 million women and men. Despite common misconceptions, not all abuse victims are women. A quarter of all men have been victims of some form of violence from a partner in their lifetime and it is a third of all women. Domestic violence does… Read More

The importance of self-compassion October 12, 2016 – Posted in: News

If you have ever had a period of clinical depression, or if you have struggled throughout your life with chronic depression, you know that this is more than just a period of sadness. Depression is well named. It pushes down on a person, it makes the world full of shadows and it sucks energy and hope from the world. There is no point asking a person with depression to just go out and improve their self-esteem. It is like asking a blind man to just go see for a change. If it was as easy as being told to like yourself more, people with depression would love to have gone and done that months, years, decades ago. Having a personal mantra of “You are a good person and you are worth it” is likely to torment a person with depression more than it offers them comfort. So, if the answer… Read More

The Importance of a Journal October 3, 2016 – Posted in: News

So, you have started the journey with me. You have read the first powerful moments in the Words Never Spoken story of how someone can strive, thrive and live with hope. Now is the time to share your thoughts, to put your pen to paper, to shape your story. This is a self-improvement, self-help book. This story is told, these tasks are set, to help you to find a means of helping yourself through challenging times. Unique in this genre, the book encourages you to share your journey. We will cover one self-improvement topic each month from each chapter of the book, and I want to invite you to join in and share your journey. You can share your experience with depression, suicide, domestic abuse and molestation, to name but a few issues that impact us today. By sharing, you will be starting your own journal. And, journals are a… Read More

Love at first sight; flee or fight for Love August 19, 2016 – Posted in: News

Do you believe in Love at First Sight? Is it possible to love someone at first sight based on what’s on the ‘inside’? versus their outside characteristics, such as eyes, hair, smile, or physique. “Yes, we can, says psychoanalyst Roland Gori, who believes we can create a frame of mind where we’re more likely to fall in love instantly. ‘We need to believe that, on some level, something is missing from our lives,’ he explains. ‘When we feel “complete”, that we’ve found everything we want, we’re not as open to the possibility that someone else can heal our pain.’ Whereas if we’re feeling vaguely dissatisfied, someone can appear exactly when we need them to. When we’re feeling down, we’re more open to the romantic notion that someone can walk in and save us. Which is why love at first sight is something we find so desirable, particularly when we’ve been… Read More

Closure August 6, 2016 – Posted in: News

Took a shower in Holy Water today Crying as drops of guilt and shame, trickle down the drain I am healed. No more myself to blame How many of you have had to gain closure on your own because a friend or loved one refused to ‘own up’ to their role in your pain? It’s a difficult thing to do. Let’s examine the formal definition of the term ‘Closure’. – Closure or need for closure (NFC) (used interchangeably with need for cognitive closure (NFCC)) arepsychological terms that describe an individual’s desire for a firm answer to a question and an aversion toward ambiguity. The term “need” denotes a motivated tendency to seek out information. What are some of the ways you have given yourself closure? What was the situation? Dr. Abigail Brenner shares 5 Ways to Find Closure From the Past at this link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-flux/201104/5-ways-find-closure-the-past I would love to hear your thoughts… Read More

Paying it Forward! August 1, 2016 – Posted in: News

Have you ever heard of the phrase paying it forward? I first learned about this 2 years ago, when my daughter and I were at a toll booth about to pay and the ticket-taker person said it was paid already by the car that just pulled off. I was in awe, felt God had personally Blessed me, and smiled the whole rest of the trip. The next Sunday in church the Pastor happened to be preaching on Christian values and behaviors and brought up this same phrase. He said that it is our responsibility to pay it forward when we are Blessed. It doesn’t have to be about money, it could be just complimenting someone, saying hello and asking how they are doing, helping someone open a door who has a bag full of packages, or giving a sandwich to a homeless person. The pastor’s pay it forward story was about… Read More